7 Reasons why you smack your child.

Sherryfah

Writer/ Qualified health coach/ Fitness expert

7 Reasons why you smack your child.

March 9, 2017

7 reasons why you smack your child.

There are underlying reasons why you smack, spanks, hits, beats, slaps your children. You can call it any name, the intention behind it all is to inflict pain and to find a quick fix to parenting problems. Smacking is physically violent and research has shown that it does not modify behaviour. Your smacking causes pains, unhappiness, low self-esteem, hyperactivity, anxiety and anger to your children. It contributes to mental health problems later in life. No one doubts the fact that you love your children dearly, but, your smacking only pushes your love for them into animalistic brutalises. How can you justify correcting inappropriate behaviour by doing something equally inappropriate?

Physical punishment teaches children that it is alright to transfer your anger on other people, spanking leaves permanent marks on children. Human brains work in a strange way, you might love your child and gives him or her cuddles and kisses millions of times a day, but, most children’s brains will retain and save the spanking and smacking episodes permanently.

Hitting your child leaves everlasting impressions, just as emotional pain. You spank your children when you are angry and in the process, you say hurtful things. Children are more likely to remember negative comments. They remember the tone of your voice and the anger you expressed.

Parents who smack their children do so due to a lot of factors and here are just a few of them.

Lack of patience.

It is a known fact that to be a good parent, you must be patient enough to tolerate childishness. Children would bring out the monsters in you, but, it takes a lot to hold it up. Most adult smack because they have zero tolerance to childishness. If you find yourself losing the plot over everything your child does, I will suggest you enrol on parenting and anger management courses. Patience is a virtue in raising a child.

Frustration

The truth is you are just taking your anger out on your child. Sometimes, life pressures clash with parental commitments and this turn to anger. You beat your child not because of what he or she has really done; the fact that you are angry, you are tired, you did not get paid on time, you have bills to pay, you lack sleep, a colleague was given the promotion you were aiming, you mad at someone or something all add up. Your frustration resulted in anger and you lashed out.

Ego

The ego of being a parent and the provider do get to head sometimes. Your child complains about the food you bought, your child said she did not like the shoes you bought for her, you smacked her, not because of what the poor child said. No. You were crossed because you needed that child to respect you and to accept your judgement on everything. You unconsciously showing that “I am big, you are little and I have the power to inflict pains”.

Family Tradition

If you smack your child, you must have been smacked as a child. This is one of the many dangers of smacking, you got smacked as kids and the aggressiveness gathered during childhood transformed into an ugly monster. Studies show that if you grow up in a spanking family, you are more likely to use violent to handle disputes as adults.

Abuse.

Adults who spank or smack their children are likely to have been abused as children. Sometimes, you do not know what an abuse looks like or meant due to physical violence you have gone through as kids, the spanking blind all reasonings, you see pain as part of life and accept an abuse without questioning.

Sign of weakness

Smacking your child shows you are weak. The lack of will power to engage your child and the weakness to face up to your mistake. The unwillingness to learn how to raise kids without violence makes most parents smack and it shows nothing, but, weakness.

Loss of control

Loss of control can trigger anger, especially when children are the main concern. You smack sometimes because you are not winning. You have lost the control to nurture your child, to teach good manners and to set good examples. It is like a child throwing tantrums when no one is paying attention.

Do you want to know the best way to raise your children without smacking? Stay in touch.

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Sherryfah

Sherryfah