I am not sure if I received loads of cuddles as a little child. I remember many pats on the back when I did something good. I remember my father carrying me on his shoulder when I was about 4, I also remember odd cuddles when I was sick, I was a sickly child and I often had my mom sitting beside me crying and praying for me to get well.

My mother was a great mother. She loved me and my siblings dearly, but, cuddling and kisses were not part of the ways my parents expressed their love. I had pet names given to me by both of my parents, but, I did not receive many cuddles nor kisses.

I am sure I must have received all the cuddles I needed for my entire life (from my parents) when I was an infant. When I had no retentive memory. When I was just growing my senses, probably when I was learning to walk or just before I started walking or talking. I have seen pictures of me as a baby being held in my mother’s arm, so I must have received loads of cuddles.

I grew up having so much respect for my parents, but, I wouldn’t just walk up to any of my parents and gave them cuddles, that was not part of my upbringing. I did not remember being hugged by my mother as a teenager either.However, I was well loved, but, not cuddled much.

As I venture further into the world of parenting , I  learnt that cuddling is part of parenthood and it does not have to stop once your child becomes  independent. Children who receive continuous cuddling through their lives tend to benefit more than those who receive less cuddle.

In a study, it was proven that there are higher social bonding hormones in children who receive more cuddles as babies. Cuddled children have a good sleeping pattern as they grow and few illnesses.

A study also showed that children who receive cuddle in their pre-teen and teen years handle stress better than their less-cuddled children of the same age. Such children produce less cortisol (a stress-related hormone found in our body when stressed),in order words,children who are cuddled are less stressed and can handle life challenges better.

It has also been proven that cuddled children have steadier respiration and heart rates.Cuddling also increases emotional attachment and children who receive more cuddles are better when it comes to expressing how they feel. Children who experienced more of the developmental needs such as cuddles and kisses exhibit more empathy, self-control, and conscience.

It is advisable to cuddle your child, teenagers need more cuddling from their parents due to the pressures and hormonal changes. It might be difficult now if you have already stopped cuddling your child. However, you can start with little kisses here and there.

According to Psychology Today, “Our research shows that when we don’t provide children with what they evolved to need, they turn into adults with decreased social and moral capacities.”https://www.psychologytoday.com/

Not cuddling and kissing your children provide toxic stress in childhood and it hides the good stuff in them. You care so much about their looks, do a bit more for their emotional needs. Stretch out your arms.Give more cuddles.

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