One thing we all clamour for is happiness. We are all in pursuit of happiness. In our longing to be happy, we often forget to be happy. The elusive nature of happiness grasp our attention and we devise numerous means of achieving this ultimate state of being.

However, what many of us do not realise is that the decision to be happy depends entirely on us. We (individually) decide what happiness meant to us. It is within us all, we only need to carve ways round it.

Our States Of Mind

A negative state of mind and a positive state of mind are more or less what determines happiness. Invariably, when we are stressed, anxious and afraid we remain in a negative frame of mind. It is not healthy to remain in this state for too long, but sadly many of us find it difficult not to. For many, this is a long boring and sad rabbit hole that sucks not only energy but any glimpse of happiness out of us.

A positive state of mind is when you add value to your life. This state of mind holds a punch. The state of being happy involve achievements, the events leading to planning, power of possession, laughter, excitement and so on. To move to this state of mind, you need to truly observe yourself and engage more in little things that excite you. You need to work out what you need to be happy and how to achieve it.

Different Ways Of Happiness

Happiness has two major routes. These routes lead to the same emotion: The short and the long routes. The short routes are the things you engage in that give you instant gratification. These things are under your control and they result in an immediate dopamine spike, the brain’s reward system.

For me, my short route to happiness includes a nice cup of tea, taking a walk, listening to the radio while driving, gardening, eating out with my friends, a short afternoon nap, being alone for a short time during the day, a bear cuddle from my man, watching TV with my family and so on.

As you can see, my happiness short routes are all under my control, they do not take much effort to achieve. With these, all the feel-good hormones (dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin) are released without much effort.

My happiness long route includes a solo holiday, having friends over for a tea party, full body massage, strolling in the beautiful city of Medinah etc. The happiness long route is the delayed happiness that needs planning.

Being Happy

Being happy takes effort. To be happy, you need to create an atmosphere for it. Happy people tend to have something to look forward to and they celebrate little achievements. Happiness is a learned behaviour. Clearly, choosing to bother less on situations that once bothered you is choosing happiness. Worrying less about things you cannot change is creating a platform for happiness. Managing your expectation is a useful weapon for happiness.

Happiness changes form. Without a doubt, it is elusive and that is why you need to decide and work on your happiness. Monitor your happiness. Keep a diary of what makes you happy and what sucks the happiness out of you. Pick on things that gladden your heart, do a repeat of such things/activities. Put more energy into the happiness you have control over. Plan ahead. Define your moments.