My mother got me a doll when I was about 6. The doll was made out of plastic and had a little bath and shower. It had a little wire for water to pass through.  It was an amazing little gift and a little possession of mine. My doll had a miniature world with everything it needed. I cannot remember what happened to my doll, I had it for a while and it just disappeared. I cannot remember having any industrially manufactured toy after my little doll disappeared.

As I grew, I made do with whatever I could find around. Dressing up games were achieved using old clothes. Most of the play I engaged in were centred around role playing. I found solace in using old cassette as building blocks,  empty milk tins and cans with a thin thread were used as a transmitter for communication. With a little help from my peers and sometimes from my siblings, I learnt to make kites from newspaper and strands of brooms. Hide and seek was one of the favourites and I was great at it.

We sang and danced and made up songs for many occasions. We picked fruits and tried new tastes. We wandered around a lot under the guardian of an older child. I experimented with gardening and harvesting. Tree climbing was a game I was I disliked for I was not good at climbing and I got mocked by many of my friends. We did up-scotch under the hot sun. We learnt to make parachutes out of polyethene bags and tested their durability on windy days. Dark clouds were great signs for me, there was nothing relaxing than a cold shower of heavy pouring rain. We drew on the ground and had competitions on hopscotch games. The boys had their games and so were the girls. Most of which generated out of pure curiosity.
As I turned into a teenager, there were peer influences and pressures from peers. It was a time the hard realisation set in. I realised  I could not get everything I wanted. There were gadgets to own, but, I did not own any. I was happy to have found creativity as a way of coping with the pressure of teen years. I found joy in cooking, reading and writing.

I had friends whose only joy was to read; the competition then was who read the most. We spent all the money we could get on teen novels and I still have memories of the amazing books I read in those glorious days. We relish on soap operas and one-off television shows. Mine was a complete childhood and I can boldly say I achieved full potential as a growing kid.

Today, I am a mother to 3 beautiful children and I struggle to keep up with their needs. I do not believe in children’s materialism and I stand firmly against the need to huddle toys. However, I do buy educational toys; books are my weakness.  Sometimes, I feel guilty for not letting my children have all latest gadgets and toys around. Most of their friends have loads of toys and gadgets, so why do I deny my children the pleasure?

Studies have shown that children who are materialistic grow up depressed,  despair, attempt suicide, get into drug and alcohol use when their needs are not met.

In this materialistic world, how do you raise a non-materialistic child?

1. Not spending time with your child comes with a price and the price you pay is giving unlimited gifts for your child’s attention. Cherish every moment with your child. Children do grow quickly. The time is now. Buy fewer toys, spend more time with your child.
2. If you have ” I must have” attitude, your children will grow up craving for everything they see. Do you buy every latest gadgets, shoes, cars or clothes? Well, don’t blame your child, it runs in the blood.
3. It is good practice to give gifts on special occasions, however, overspending can never be justified. Teach your child the lesson of such occasion.
4. Show your child the true meaning of life. New toys do get replaced, new clothes get old. Show your child how today’s treasure will end up in the bin tomorrow. Teach your child how to prioritise.
5. Play and explore together. Not everything has to be purchased. Think of ways to encourage creativity.
6. Support a good cause. Encourage the habit of saving for the rainy days. Encourage sharing and the act of giving to the less privileged.
7. Visit the poor and let your child see the other side of the coin. Raise your child to know that everything is not centred around him or her. Learn to say “NO”.
8. Express your love through other means. Let your love speaks volume, not just through gifts of toys and gadgets. Encourage together-time, admonishment, affections, cuddles and kisses.

What other ways do you express your love without gift giving?