Lying for Love and attention.

 

I was not a pathological liar as a child, far from it, but, I told many lies as I walked up the path of awareness and discovery of self. My lies were not told to deceive, no, it was an expression of self-worthiness, love and compassion. I told lies to protect people I care about from having any kind of doubt or disappointment in me. I knew lying was wrong, but, I lied anyway. My parents were not liars, in contrary, my father was as blunt as blunt could be and my mother had her dignity to protect. I grew up amidst people who believe honesty is a virtue but, I still lied. No one taught me to lie neither was I influenced by my peers.

I lied on many occasions. As a kid, food was my first love and I lied to eat as much as I wanted. I lied to escape punishment and I lied not to get people angry.

I cannot remember when I actually started lying. I know I got away with some and I got caught many times. I then grew into perfecting my lies out of pure childishness and imagination. I was not wayward, nor was I a truant. As a matter of fact, I was a bit of an angel, I was obedient, attentive at school and ran errand happily. I was a good example in my neighbourhood, however, all these did not stop me from telling lies to people I cared the most about.

My lies as a child were not that harmful, they were those little lies you could excuse a child of 8 for, but, as I entered my pre-teen, I shaped up the lies I told. Among my peers, I told a tailor- made and personalised lies. I lied about latest fashion I did not have, about shops I had never been and about food I had never tasted. Then, no one knew I lied except me. I faked reading just to be free from chores, I chose to be different and  I sometimes lied to be that person.

My lies were all out of imagination, exaggerations, cover-ups and make beliefs. My teenage years went pretty smooth, I was in a state. (more…)

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How to raise children without smacking

Family Time

How do you raise your child without smacking? I know it is hard to disciple a child who does not listen or yield to anything you say, but, before I go into how to raise your child without smacking; I need to draw you back to your child as a baby. Your child kickstarts his development through your eyes, he learnt to identify your voice, your body language and your expressions.You, in turn, knew when he was happy, sad, hungry, silly or playful, but, as your baby grows, he started exploring and experimenting, he started learning from people around, he learns to relate, have friends and defend himself sometimes. Along the line, something changed through what he observes and learnt. This is where you as a parent step in, smacking might, however, make him stop what you disliked for a while, it is never the best way.
Here are a few things to do instead of smacking.

1. Make a list of house rules.
Children like rules and love to follow the regulations especially when you involve your child in drawing out the rules of your house. It is never late to have a meeting with your child and have a discussion on what is acceptable and what is not. The rules can be anything, (for instance no screaming, no shouting, no stamping of feet, tidy up etc) If your child can write, let him or her be the Note-Taker at the meeting. Set the rules and discuss consequences of not sticking to the rules. Make this fun and be firm at the same time. Let your child know that you meant business. Stick the rules up where your child can see and take it as it goes. (more…)

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Healthy Tomato Spaghetti with delicious grilled mackerel

Why not try this healthy spaghetti with grilled mackerel for a change? It is easy to make and takes about 45  minutes to sort out.Personally, food meant more than just eating, it is a way of nourishing my body and taking care of its metabolism. What is the point of eating if it does nothing to the body? Food is to the body like breath is to life.

In this recipe, I used mackerel due to its goodness, it is a good source of vitamin D, protein, selenium and vitamin B. It is very rich in omega-3 fatty acids.It also contains the type of fat that is beneficial to our body called monounsaturated fatty acids and polyunsaturated fatty acids. Wholemeal spaghetti is the type of pasta that I used, you can choose any pasta of your choice. However, I think it is important to know that wholemeal pasta is high in vitamin B, minerals such as manganese, selenium and magnesium. It is filling compared to refined pasta and it supplies the body’s need by slowly releasing energy.  It contains high nutritional benefits naturally, unlike refined pasta which is enriched with vitamins. The wholemeal food contains the body’s need naturally with fewer fortifications.

This recipe feeds 7 people and you will need the following:

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