That Sulky Feeling of Underachievement.

July 4, 2019

I have reached the bottom line a few times in my life. I have dealt with feelings of loneliness despite being in the midst of loved ones. Consequently, I have also had recurrent emotions of worthlessness., the sulky feelings where nothing seems to make sense despite traceable achievements.

I have got to deal with a lot of not-too-happy feelings. Many times, I feel am not where I really want to be on the ladder of success looking at my age. No one has ever told me that age and success are twins, but, somehow I find myself scrutinizing my very essence of existence.

A midlife crisis might not be my diagnosis. I might not be sure of the causes either, but, the fire burning in me and the disappointment I abhor in what I am yet to conquer all point to the oblivious fact of midlife crisis.

The Wavering Emotions

Sometimes, the emotions are strong. I often allow it to ruin my day or the appreciation of what I already have: the free things of life. The clean air I breathe, love and unwavering support of those around me, smiles and beautiful memories are part of the free abundance I always take for granted.

I am not a saint, in fact, I am way far from being one, but, for the record, I don’t get envious of other people’s success. I might wish to be successful in the same manner, I don’t get drowned in worries of people’s happiness or monetary wealth.

However, this crisis makes me question me and what I stand for. It has made me look at the things I have dreamt of but never have the will to do it. I have let my unimportant life failures determine my moods time and time again.

Likewise, my achievements had been compared to what I should have amounted to in the grand scale of life. I often find myself asking, “Is this all there is?” whenever I allowed the crisis to hit below the belt.

The Reason Behind The Emotion.

The sudden realisation that life is finite might be the cause of the midlife crisis. It usually follows a crisis in life. This crisis might be significant or insignificant. A thunderous relationship might bring up the crisis as well as a divorce or loss of someone close to us. A friend getting the desired promotion might trigger the crisis for others.

In reality, it is the feeling of what you don’t want to be at a certain age of your life. The look in the mirror might set it off for some, the thought of ageing and losing the agility can make some people wonder what is it to this life.

We all react to this process differently. I often loathe my situation at the time of the attack while many sails through this period unscathed.

The Fact About Midlife Crisis

Due to the effect of the crisis, I have rechanneled my feelings. To me, it is a wakeup call to life. It is a realisation of what life is all about. The fact that perhaps there is more life behind me than in front of me.

Do I really want to cling on for dear life of my youthful past, spending my time regretting or revisiting old memories or would I just embrace the second half of life and live it fully?

The worst way to live is to be miserable. Thinking of lost opportunities, wishing to go back in time and regretting the passing of time all add to the problems of ageing.

I have always dreamt of ageing gracefully without the worries that come with it and here is a reassurance for me.

What you need to do.

To age dynamically is to enjoy life, all that we’ve learned and gained along the path to midlife simply give us an edge.

In other to deal with a midlife crisis, you have to face life, don’t hide from the fact that you’re ageing. Spend time in self-reflection mode and don’t wait for a crisis before making a change to your life.

Doing something out of the ordinary might help. Do things you don’t do usually. Go out of your ways to help others.

Go outside. Check out the beauties around you. Take a walk with nature.

Rebrand the crisis. It might be the reawakening up need. Don’t forget experience, wisdom and knowledge only come with age.

There is a huge difference between depression and midlife crisis. Identify what you feel and seek professional help.

Let go of what is holding you back. Now is the time to take the plunge. What are you afraid of? It is okay to be different. Make that decision and free your mind.

It is worthwhile remembering that life is a privilege. Many don’t get to live up to the age you are now. So enjoy it.

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This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Wale Hassan

    Beaming the search light on the corners of our mind, on the phases of our lives and moments of our days. Thanks for sharing, thanks for the inspiration.

    1. sherryfah2@gmail.com

      Thanks to you my brother for such encouraging comments. Thanks for being there always.

  2. Kudirat Adunni

    In all honesty .. I needed to read this to help me get over my feelings of disappointments.
    Indeed we forget to be appreciative and we channel our energy towards the pain so much that it envelopes everything . I’m always completely loss- when I feel this way.. the solution I’m yet to find..but in Allah I put my trust..
    Thanks for sharing/ writing.

    Adunni

    1. sherryfah2@gmail.com

      We all feel like this sometimes. We just need to appreciate now and concentrate less on our disappointments. Life is still worthy of living despite all.

  3. Raji Idris

    You are really doing a nice job ma.

    More strength to your elbow.

    1. sherryfah2@gmail.com

      Thank you

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