There was something about my childhood that I often ponder: how happy I was. I didn’t know how this worked, food wasn’t in abundance and I didn’t have the luxury my children have today but I had a very happy and fulfilled childhood. I didn’t have a variety to choose from. Basic food, clothing, free air, paid water, lousy and nosy neighbours were all part of my happiness. The yearly trips to the countryside to see my grandmother and my cousins constituted my childhood happiness.

Quite often I listened to the dreams of adults around me, but they were quick to celebrate their little achievements and work harder to achieve more basic goals. I saw my mother break down many times over her struggle to make ends meet and I was part of the many hungry faces around but I never experienced the emotion associated with overwhelming sadness.

I was happy growing up. Life was all about learning through interactions. However, the first ting of sadness hovered above me like dark threatening clouds when I became aware of the worth of my needs. At that point, I knew I wanted more: my needs were much deeper than the three daily meals.

The Expectations

On the wall of life, the law of expectancy is faintly written. Many of us follow these faint writings without question. We are expected to achieve a certain degree of success at a certain stage in our life. With each achievement, our expectations grow.

The desire to have more of the worldly gains have preoccupied you… Q 102 :1

We race behind the needs of life thrown into our baskets. We add our personalised needs to the already overflowing baskets of expectations. The excruciating struggles and burdens from these baskets weigh us down and rob us of our happiness.

The orientation is to shoulder the basket, keeping it intact with all the protruding calamities. Each step is laden with uncertainty. The pleasure derived from celebrating little achievements had long gone.

Undoubtedly, the accomplishment of each goal leads to a bigger goal to tick off our ever-growing list of wants. Unhappiness set in with failures, trials and tribulations. We found ourselves in a vicious circle, wishing and gasping for happiness.

What Does Happiness Really Mean?

We all perceive happiness differently. Happiness could be a state of being truly fulfilled; an enjoyable or satisfied state of being. However, this doesn’t mean there won’t be brief spells of sadness, low mood or uncertainty in a purportedly happy life. Happiness is a sense of freedom and wishes that come true. It is more than a smile, giggles or rib-cracking waves of laughter.

Without a doubt, human beings are hardwired to survive through the achievement of goals. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with acquiring the best and achieving more. The burst of endorphins run through our system when we acquire more, when we achieve more and when we plan to do more.

When we misunderstood this burst as a form of happiness, we found ourselves in a long winding rabbit hole. And when the burst of endorphins settles and we become deflated, we go through the same vicious circle craving for more, hoping to have a sniff of the endorphins. Of course, it is rewarding and even honourable but real happiness lies in little things we ignore.

Wrapping Up And Finding More.

When we get wrapped up in life expectations, we ignore the priceless moments that bring true happiness. Success accompanies you when you start taking notes of those little things. Perhaps, we all need to look within ourselves to observe the pertain of events when we experience true happiness.

For me, happiness is sieving through good from bad and sticking to the ones that give me true pleasure.

A few months ago, I developed the habit of waking up early, earlier than I ever did. Within a few weeks of starting this routine, I noticed changes in myself. Waking up early brought back the pleasure of isolation, the calmness of being alone and the sheer knowledge of being able to do more. I am able to think deeper, rediscovered a part of me I left rotten away, plan things out and above all gain clarity of self.

Though waking up at 3:00 am every morning didn’t come without some determination and a bit of resistance, this experience gladdens my heart in ways I can’t express through writing. My shift in priority enables me to embrace high spirituality in a more profound way.

Choosing Happiness

Choosing how to live your life and achieving your full potential is choosing happiness. Part of what brings me happiness is expressing how I feel, I no longer bottle up my feeling silently suffering from what I shouldn’t have suffered from in the first instance. I learnt not to wear a mask to fit into the world because the real me is best.

Living a purposeful life is recognising that wealth is not just about money, nor does it have anything to do with what you wear.

For you, happiness might be that special look in your spouse’s eyes; a big cuddle from your friend or that calm moment with your Creator. It might be a lonely walk in the flower garden. The seeds that sprout to life or little achievement of being able to swap sugary drinks for water.

You might have gained immense pleasure leaving a six-figure toxic job for a job that pays less but rewards you with fulfilment. Something as simple as sticking to the truth and rendering help to others might give you joy.

The secret to happiness is to know that life is in the details. Look within and structure out those moments. When you connect the dots between all these little joys, life seems fuller and more satisfying.